UGH! Why Did I Do That?!?!?!

​Have you ever acted against your better judgment? Ummmm, of course you have. We all have. Sometimes you do things that you later regret. And this keeps you from achieving that lean, healthy, sexy body that you want.

• You hit snooze rather than waking up early to exercise before work.
• You blow off your healthy eating plan to indulge in a hamburger and fries.
• You start an exercise program only to drop out two weeks into it.

​​These regrettable actions prevent you from achieving your goals and keep you stuck.
Most of us are all too familiar with this frustrating paradox. It’s almost as if there are two sides inside of you, raging war on each other. Your sensible side versus your emotional side. What you want versus what you do. 

A psychologist named Jonathan Haidt came up with a mental model that explains exactly why you do things that you wish you hadn’t – and how to take control to finally do the actions necessary to get what you really want. 

“The image I came up with for myself, as I marveled at my weakness [of willpower], was that I was a rider on the back of an elephant. I’m holding the reins in my hands, and by pulling one way or the other I can tell the elephant to turn, to stop, or to go. I can direct things, but only when the elephant doesn’t have desires of his own. When the elephant really wants to do something, I’m no match for him,” explained Haidt in his book, The Happiness Hypothesis. 

Human decision making is like a tiny rider on a massive elephant.  The rider may think he’s in charge, but the elephant’s will always win. The Elephant, The Rider, and The Path are a great framework for understanding yourself and what drives you. All human change depends on it. 

Here’s Haidt’s mental model for creating lasting change in greater detail… 

• You hit snooze rather than waking up early to exercise before work.
• You blow off your healthy eating plan to indulge in a hamburger and fries.
• You start an exercise program only to drop out two weeks into it.

​These regrettable actions prevent you from achieving your goals and keep you stuck.

The Rider

The Rider is your rational and analytical side. The Rider is a visionary that has the ability to think long-term, to plan, and that is willing to make short-term sacrifices for long-term payoffs. The Rider loves to contemplate and analyze, has limited reserves of strength, suffers from paralysis by analysis, and relentlessly focuses on problems rather than solutions. Most crucially, the Rider is so small compared to the six-ton Elephant that anytime they disagree about which direction to go, the Rider will lose. ​

The Elephant

The Elephant is is made up of your emotions and instincts. The Elephant prefers the comfort and security of a well-trodden path, even if a new path leads to a better outcome – this is why it’s so difficult to change your habits. The Elephant has enormous strengths: love and compassion and sympathy and loyalty. The Elephant is the one who gets things done. ​

The Path

The Path is your surrounding environment, the context in which the Rider and the Elephant operate. A rocky Path makes change hard, if not impossible, even when the Rider and the Elephant work together. 

There are three steps to lasting change:

1. Direct the Rider
2. Motivate the Elephant
3. Shape the Path

1. Direct The Rider

Change begins with a plan, and it’s the Rider who comes up with plans. Direct your Rider to analyze what’s right, on what works. When you’ve lost weight and made progress towards your fitness goals in the past what worked for you? Focus on these bright spots rather than on potential problems related to your desired change. Once you’ve come up with a plan, move on. It’s important to move quickly and to avoid getting bogged down with paralysis by analysis. Not sure what to do? Don't use that as an excuse, find someone who can help you.

Bonus Tip:  Make sure your pland does not rely on willpower. Willpower has proven to be ineffective as a long term strategy.  I much prefer "skillpower".

The problem is that most bad habits operate on autopilot, you don't even think about them. Bad habits are typically triggered by context (e.g., bad day at work, fight with the spouse, watching TV, out with friends), rather than by any particular desire to engage in the unhealthy behavior. So the key to stopping a bad habit isn’t more willpower — it’s figuring out how to turn off the autopilot. It’s learning to disrupt the behavior, preferably before it starts. It's the learning ("skillpower") that's going to empower you to your ultimate long term success.

That's the number one reason I focus my coaching on a skills curriculum and building long-lasting sustainable healthy habits because in the long-run, willpower simply does not work.

2. Motivate The Elephant

In order for the plans of your Rider to succeed, your Elephant must feel emotionally invested in the outcome. Find an emotional connection that you feel deep down in relation to the goal. Don’t just think about why you want to achieve your goal – feel why you need to achieve your goal. Your "why" is super important.

3. Shape the Path

Make change easy. Reduce obstacles in your life, so that the new desired behavior is frictionless. Move the barriers between you and the actions that you want to take. Lay out your workout clothes the night before. Spend time in the morning to prep all of your healthy daily meals. Get a coach to hold you accountable to reach your goals. 

The key to effective change is getting the Elephant and the Rider moving together on a smooth path to success. Do this and you’ll stop doing things that you later regret. 

If getting into the best shape of your life is a current goal that you wish you could achieve then contact me today. I’m here to help you direct your Rider, motivate your Elephant and shape your Path…and I promise I won’t rest until your goal has become a reality!